When I bought my Dietz railbus from a very nice private seller in Switzerland, he was kind enough to (at his suggestion) take it over the border and mail it to me from Germany, so I didn't have to pay VAT on it - if he'd sent it from Switzerland, I would have been charged VAT on it by Customs (and the "ransom fee" by Parcelfarce). That jolly decent gesture on his part saved me over £200.....
When I sell items (through my business, not private stuff) to customers in Norway or Switzerland, I deduct the VAT as I would to, say, the US or Canada - but the customer may or may not then get billed by his local Customs.
Jon.