Really?
So, let's ignore the BEMF issue first, and then bring it in later.
I cannot believe that a custom speed curve cannot match the 2 locos running light. I have set locos that will run for hours exactly 4 feet apart.
Depending on the decoder, you may or may not need CV2 and CV5... most times the speed curve alone is all that should be set.
Then, some decoders have a "kickstart", a little extra kick to overcome initial friction.
Now, before we get to BEMF... one of the common misconceptions is that you need 2 locos running exactly the same, so people check them with no loads and not coupled together, that seems logical. But when you couple 2 locos, if there are not massive differences, they equalize out... when a load is applied things change a bit, and the "faster" loco will draw more current as it works harder, and the slower loco, being more lightly loaded, will go faster... so the speed, when loaded, seems to equalize much better than people think.
Now let's add in BEMF... BEMF is not simple, because it has 3 parameters and can be "tuned" to have very different effects. One extreme of tuning is to make the loco on "cruise control" where the speed is independent of load... nice for a single loco running a train with a wide variation in grades... you can set it at a speed and know it will get up the grade and not run away down grade.
But the main reason for development is to smooth out the performance of the loco under irregular conditions, short term, like a binding spot, "stiction" when starting, etc. Tuned this way, I have no issues consisting multiple locos, although the "common wisdom" is to turn BEMF off when consisting.
So my advice is turn off BEMF so as not to be confusing at first, pick one loco as the "standard" and set the speed table in the other to match. I do this with POM in real time... I put something in the couplers so the locos don't lock together.
(I actually now set all locos with a custom speed table vs. a scale speedometer, mapping speed steps to SMPH so all locos are matched to each other)
Greg